"Say cheese!" the photographer directs. I love all types of cheese — cottage cheese, provolone, especially pepper jack cheese, but I can't get myself to smile naturally. It's similar with "say money!" Money doesn't get me to smile because I mentally picture a stack of dull dollar bills that would soil my hygiene, but a brand new Jaguar just might; of course, such big gifts would counter-intuitively shock me into apathy. Thus, for maximum effect on my smile, a photographer would ideally buy me some Red Bull before the photo shoot. As of yet, my smiles either make my pictures depict me as Garfield about to do exercise or a politician before having to meet with a swarm of reporters, i.e. serious or forced. When I'm serious, I think I'm smiling. I force myself to think "happy" thoughts — the clear, blue sky around me, the people playing, the warm temperature. But that just makes me sad.
I begin to ask myself, "Why do I have to force myself to think about happy thoughts to make myself happy? What's wrong with me?" What usually happens regardless is that I ask myself more questions: "Why can't I get back to reality and deal with my sore legs from standing in this position? Why must I capture this fake moment to supplant my reality?" Finally, as I decide I might as well force a smile, I attempt to move my entire face into an a paragon of exuberance and youthful energy effervescing with inordinate happiness, only to realize that the only part I can move effectively is my mouth into a creased crescent; my eyes and my cheeks don't budge because I'm not actually happy. This gives me a resentful look, giving off the "Why are you making me do this?" air. This is ironic; I smile naturally when I'm not thinking about smiling, but when I'm about to get my photo taken, I lapse into nonchalance or worse — frowning.
Even after I get this far into the photo shoot, judging the depth to which I should smile requires some foresight. If my smile resembles a semi-circle, I wouldn't do too badly as an actor in a horror film. If my smile resembles a conservative grin, you may think I'm about to find a punching bag. Finding middle ground is tricky and may sometimes require a reflection of myself. Even then, my naturally forced (pun on words) smile only shows my rather conspicuous upper row of teeth. For an ideal smile, I move my lower lips down to balance the display of my upper row of teeth with my lower row of teeth. I guess the ability to display a perfect smile is all in the mood. Forcing the technique is too difficult. I just have to be more happy and less cynical for natural pictures. There are no shortcuts in life after all.
I agree with your post (although I never have any trouble smiling) - I hate posed photos. Everything always looks so fake. Actually, I must confess, I dislike all photos in general - I will always try to run away when a family member wants a photo; it drives my parents nuts.
ReplyDeleteHaha, Eric, you always make me laugh in a good way~~
ReplyDeleteYou've summarized the classic conundrum quiet nicely though, forced photos never seem to work out too well. Becoming happier and less cynical... one can't (and probably shouldn't) force oneself in a certain emotional direction, or adopt an emotional outlook on life that varies from your inherent personality.
Perhaps you aren't the type of person who smiles! You could instead adopt a solemn, reserved, or dignified air for such photos. That is also politically acceptable, I think. Plus it's better than contorted Garfield imitations :D.
While I think it looks creepy when people don't smile at all in pictures, I do think that too many photographers (both pro and amateur) insist on a big grin. Some people have little, subtle smiles. Why force it? People who don't usually smile big, but then try to in a picture, end up looking manic at best and maniacal at worst.
ReplyDeleteWhy so serious?
ReplyDeleteLet's put a smile on that face...
Yes. I always look either posed, angry, or smug in photos. Well, if it's posed, I'll either look posed or psychotic.
Photos aren't really all that important, methinks. If you're just going to take posed photos of [person or group of people] standing in front of [monument], why bother? If nothing worth photographing happens naturally, isn't that a sign that it doesn't need to be photographed?
Smiling is a good thing! You have to stay positive. While it can be annoying when the photographer tell you to smile, I think that they know what they are doing. I think that the best way to smile for a picture is to just not to force it or think too much about it.
ReplyDeleteThe uni photographer last year asked me what sport I played. When I told him soccer he laughed and said that soccer sounded like sock her. He proceeded with a joke,
ReplyDeletewhat do you tell a women with a two black eyes?
nothing you have already told her twice.
I didn't smile that year.
Dax, I'm glad you didn't smile. That joke is not funny. In fact, it's totally offensive, as your reaction indicates. I'm pretty hard to offend, but that offends me.
ReplyDeleteNext year I'm going to tell that photographer a joke: "What do you call a school photographer who shares misogynist jokes with students?"
"Unemployed."
^^ Haha, I really like that one, so much so that I literally lol'd.
ReplyDelete